Every Tuesday, the previous night's Gossip Girl episode is reviewed by New York Magazine and assigned scores according to its "reality index." Below are some of the highlights, realistic and otherwise, from the publication's meticulous, hilarious of this week's episode, "The Serena Also Rises":•Laurel: "Kirsten Dunst? So 2007. Her rehab barely made the radar.” Plus 2, because that is kind of totally true and Plus 5 for awesome bridge-burning.
•How come Eleanor Waldorf lets teenagers decide everything for her? Minus 6.
•Plus 2 for Dan Humphrey, after all his chatter about getting out of his comfort zone and the bravado of punching the guy in the club, melting into a puddle of teen angst about how his dad will react the second he and Chuck end up in jail.
•Minus 1 for Jenny wearing a string of Jell-O cubes around her neck.
•Blair takes out her rage at being usurped by Serena on Jenny, perpetuating a centuries-old cycle of girl-on-girl bullying. Plus 8.
•Minus 3 because why doesn’t anybody ever rat out Blair to her mom? Is she the only one who gets to call in adults in case of emergency?
•Dan and Chuck in jail? No way. Cops never get called to exclusive clubs, and if they did, the perpetrators would never get arrested. Minus 4.













































