Gossip Girl Reality Index!

Every Tuesday morning, the previous night's Gossip Girl is broken down by New York Magazin and assigns scores according to its "reality index." Below are some of the highlights (and lowlights) from the magazine's analysis of "Bonfire of the Vanity."

Nelly Yuki would not have expensive accessories like that and still wear those hideous glasses. Blair simply wouldn't let her! Minus 4.


Plus 5 for this entire conversation:
Blair: Dorota, are you insane?
Dorota: I don't know.
Blair: You used the everyday china. Cyrus will think we're just common upper-middle class. Get the Auberge and hurry up!


And an additional plus 3 for when Dorota, unprompted, replaces the everyday china when she and Blair see how ugly Cyrus is.


Rufus Humphrey describes Agnes' mother as "more Courtney Love than June Cleaver," which is exactly what his references would be. Plus 1.


Dan says he "killed" the New York story. Oh, yeah, that story about a billionaire committing murder/arson? Yeah, we can skip that one. No worries! Minus 10.

Blair Waldorf's little group friends are so nervous planning her birthday party that their laughs sound like shrieks of terror. Plus 2.

How long does Serena have to stare at the phone smiling after getting Aaron's text message? Minus 1.

"[The story] will ruin our family," Chuck pleads to Dan. "Don't do it, please." Minus 4, because he would have assassinated Dan before saying please.

Jenny and Agnes' fights are so classic teenager, down to Jenny's accusation that Agnes was "acting out." This is why none of us had careers at 15. Plus 2.

The angles at which they filmed the scene with Serena and Cyrus were hilarious. It was like she was a giant and he was, well, Wallace Shawn. Plus 2.

In the scene where Agnes went crazy, Jenny would have fought way harder. She just stood there as Agnes dumped lighter fluid on her dresses, and then went, "What are you doing?" as Agnes stalked around for 20 minutes trying to light a match. Jenny had enough time to drop a dump truck on her face. Minus 6.