Gossip Girl Realism Index

Every Tuesday, the previous night's Gossip Girl is reviewed by New York Magazine and assigned scores according to its arbitrary but funny "reality index."

Below are some of the highlights (some realistic, some very far from it), from the publication's analysis of this week's episode, "New Haven Can Wait" ...

• Can we just say that Jenny, is SO genius at adolescent sulk? Possibly that is because she is actually 15, but still. Plus 1.

• Even Serena knows better than to wear a skanky-ass top like that to a college interview. Not that we're complaining personally. Minus 2.

• Lily appears in Page Six as Serena's "unidentified friend." Page Six would definitely know who Lily Bass is, but they'd also definitely try to block out any reminder of the fact that the hot eye candy they're featuring is underage. Plus 2.

• Blair's meltdown in front of the director of admissions? She's too composed and clever for that. But we totally would have. So only Minus 3.

  

• Blair calls Brown "an enclave of trustafarians and children of celebrities" who "major in drum circles and semiotics, whatever that is." Ha! So true. She also spits out stereotypical private-school phrases, like "Everyone knows that the only real Ivies are the holy trinity: Harvard, Yale, and Princeton." Plus 3.

• This deserves a separate point. Serena is a terrible student. The show talks about this incessantly. Far more famous kids want to go to Ivy League schools. They wouldn't be so gaga over her, no matter how shiny her hair is. Minus 3.

• Also, bonus for undermining "knowledge is power" for a generation of 'tweens. Power is tits and hair extensions, kids. Live it. Plus 1.

• Why is Vanessa the boss of Rufus? Jenny should have had the sh!t grounded out of her after last episode, don't you think? Minus 3.

• Thank God at least Nate wants to go to USC. What, did Yale suddenly become the only school in America? Plus 2.

• Where did Chuck get hookers in New Haven? Minus 5. And since when are there that many straight guys in a room at Yale? Minus 5.